Adulting
The past few weeks have been a revelation. I have realised that I have transitioned from a needy self-absorbed sub-adult to being a nurturing carer. No, this did not just happen with motherhood. It’s not even a function of age. It’s probably much more than that. It’s situational, for sure – I am suddenly having to step in because I’d rather be the one doing the nurturing rather than leave it to someone else. I could have had this experience a decade or two ago, but it is happening to me now.
I am adulting.
My experience with adulting is not the dictionary definition which lists holding a job, paying one’s bills, and being able to multitask (check out my header image) as signs of adulting. I have been doing all of that for years – decades, even. But here’s what has changed. I have become the source of calm for everyone I know. So when my mum suddenly calls to bitch about someone as responsible for my birth as her, I can hear her out without my pulse racing. When a friend or a colleague lets me in on some juicy tidbit, they know I won’t accidentally blurt it out because (a) the tidbit isn’t juicy as I have seen and heard it all, (b) if I were to pass it on, I’d probably mess up the story because there’s so much else going on in my head, (c) life is too short and I’d rather golf.
The last point is perhaps most valid as I reflect on the life that I have already lived. Maybe the pandemic has made me appreciate experiences differently, but calmness is the new superpower. A few days ago, I received a call from my daughter’s school. In the midst of a craft class, she had turned herself into a hairdresser and snipped a chunk of her friend’s locks. I prepared myself for the worst, while still in shock over what brought this on from an otherwise well-behaved child. I even spoke about her to the teacher on the other side as if she were a character in a novel and we were only dissecting and analysing her behaviour.
This is when I lost my blog in March 2022 and retrieved it 4 years later. I have no idea what I was even writing about but since I am so thrilled to have recovered my site and be reconnected with my writing, I am going ahead and posting it for all to read. But I think I should finish the thread…
Four years on, the adulting has been forced on me in several ways, but mostly, I still swear by (c).
Now let’s see if you’ve been reading 🙂
The writer, and the other stuff.
Hello. I’m Gitanjali — development practitioner, sometime author, full-time mother, and very part-time golfer. I’ve spent the last two decades working across South Asia, West Africa, and bits of the world in between, mostly on polio eradication, regional integration, global health, and gender.
This site is a collection of essays I started writing during the pandemic and never quite stopped. Some are field notes. Some are rants. Some are about the strange things you notice on a video call when you’re on your thousandth one. They are written from Switzerland, where I now live with my husband and our daughter.
Writing is how I figure out what I actually think. I publish in case any of it is useful — or, at minimum, mildly entertaining — to you.
If you’d like to get in touch, you can find me through the usual channels. Otherwise, thank you for reading.
Gitanjali
The writer, and the other stuff. Hello. I'm Gitanjali — development practitioner, sometime author, full-time mother, and very part-time golfer. I've spent the last two decades working across South Asia, West Africa, and bits of the world in between, mostly on polio eradication, regional integration, global health, and gender. This site is a collection of essays I started writing during the pandemic and never quite stopped. Some are field notes. Some are rants. Some are about the strange things you notice on a video call when you're on your thousandth one. They are written from Switzerland, where I now live with my husband and our daughter.
Writing is how I figure out what I actually think. I publish in case any of it is useful — or, at minimum, mildly entertaining — to you.If you'd like to get in touch, you can find me through the usual channels. Otherwise, thank you for reading.